Party Like its No Stress.

I love throwing parties. From big ol’ bashes that go well into the wee morning hours to sit-down dinners for just a few friends, throwing parties is the thing I have missed most as we have navigated our way through the pandemic. The styles and types of parties that I have thrown have changed over the years. In my early 20s, I held a monthly gathering called Boards and Buffet. The idea was simple: a group of us each made a dish around a loose theme, and we played board games. After my partner, Andrew, and I started dating, our dinner parties became more elaborate. We’d spend hours in the kitchen cooking. I’d work on the perfect playlist for days ahead of time, and Andrew would batch cocktails.

Now that we have two kids and run a restaurant of our own, the days of leisurely all-day prep in the kitchen are pretty hard to come by. But that doesn’t mean our parties have become any less elaborate; we simply plan better so that we are more efficient with our time. After years of throwing parties, I am convinced that even people who dread cooking that once-a-year Thanksgiving dinner can do it and look like a refreshed, relaxed pro.

The Best Host Is a Relaxed Host

One of the most important aspects of a killer party is the host. Do they look relaxed? Are they sitting down and eating with their guests, or are they still in the kitchen running around while guests are awkwardly waiting? A relaxed host brings comfort to guests and the party as a whole. And here’s the key: Don’t overdo it. We all think that we can make that beef Wellington for the first time ever, for ten of your nearest and dearest, but I have seen that end in disaster. Save the new recipes for a fancy dinner with your partner. Instead, make the dishes you are comfortable with and know you can do. Showcase your greatest hits. When you’re cooking comfortably and with love, it comes through to everyone, and that makes a great dinner.

Themed Affair

Every party needs a theme. And I’m not talking about “dress as your favorite Real Housewives of New York” theme. A great theme ties the whole party together. It can be specific, or it can be loose. It helps guide you to connect the thoughts between food, drink, decor, music. It can be subtle—most of the time it is just for you, serving as a place you can refer to so party planning doesn’t go astray. Center it on a piece of art, a cocktail—anything is fair game. Think of it as your organizing principle. Once you have that, use it as your building blocks for the rest of the party: the decor, the menu, the guests. It will make those moments where you are not sure what is the right choice much clearer.

Don’t Make Everything During the Party

Another key to a successful party is to do as much of the work you can before your guests arrive. Plan your time, and batch, batch, batch! There are a million great dishes that can be made ahead of time, drinks that can be put together and set aside, and prep that can be done days before the first guest arrives. We are also lucky enough here in Maine to have an abundance of riches, from dumplings to desserts, by small makers who are selling at farmers’ markets and small shops. Ordering prepared dishes is like having multiple great chefs making your dinner without the cost of hiring a caterer. Mix-and-match, ordering out one component while you make other dishes yourself.

Mind Your Temperatures

Think about how the food will be served at the moment before guests enjoy it. Be sure to mix food that can be served at room temperature, or even cold, with hot dishes. I still remember Thanksgivings of my youth where my mother would battle to make sure every dish was hot on the table; it never quite happened. Instead, pick a dish or two that’s going to hit the table hot; the rest should be dishes that can be served without taking up valuable oven space.

Don’t Forget the Drinks

Make sure to put as much thought into what everyone will be drinking as you do with what they are eating. Make big pitchers of cocktails guests can easily pour for themselves. Don’t try to be a craft bartender (unless that’s what you’re into) or you’ll find yourself stuck making drink after drink all night. And make sure you allow plenty of low-proof and nonalcoholic options so that guests can pace themselves; no one wants to be at the party where someone gets too tipsy. These days there are many fantastic options at your local grocer or liquor store of alcohol-free spirits, beer, and wine. A good party is better remembered when you don’t wake up with a hangover the next day.

Vibe Check

Consider how you’re going to make your space feel. You can make any place feel welcoming and festive: have blankets for friends to get cozy; put together a playlist of music you love to keep the vibes you want going through the whole evening. If possible, dim your lights so everyone is washed in a soft glow—no one looks bad in low light. When I am throwing a party—small, medium, or large—I am always working to ensure that everyone feels and looks their best in my home.